---December 19, 2006--- This has to be one of the ost enjoyable days I've ever had (so far!). This is our last day before Christmas vacation. But the fun thing about today was that I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening with "pinkies" my loves and ofcourse, my ever worthy bodyguard, my dear brother. Haha. So we left school at about past one because my barkada and I were waiting for my brother. We had to call him so many times 'coz we didnt know if he was coming or not. Marie and I had to walk all the way to Masagana just to buy credits so we could finally contact Kurtt. Sophia and Vanessa left earlier because Sophie had to go home and change into civilian clothes and Vjay had to bring Nica and Bj to their house and change as well. So while we were waiting, mars, lourdes and I decided to change into our civilian clothes while Carlisle and Aime were waiting at the Shed. Mi was talking to James and Carlisle was just waiting for my brother. My, my. It was funny coz when Lourdes, Mars and I came out of the cubicle, we were all in pink! Haha. We didnt have any idea that we'd all be in pink. And Marie was like, "What's the barkada name for, anyways?" Get it?? After dressing up my bro was already at the shed waiting and we decided to leave. I even had the chance to make eye contact with my boyfriend who was with Poch, they were sort of peeking at the guard's gate. I didnt know that the boys were hiding from James eh we had to leave na so I finally told James that sina Al-c was outside. Haha. Stupid me. Well, if we hadnt told James that sina Ralph was outside, we wouldnt be able to leave kagad. Besides, we had very important people to meet up with pa noh. We got to sina Vjay, she wasnt there, she went back to school to pick us up so we just waited for her to come back and bring along Mars' forgotten gift. I even spoke to Ralph on Mars' cellphone. Basta, long story. We took a ride to Rob after much dressing-up at sina Vjay's. We got there around 2 something and we had to choose a food place. Vanessa suggested Max's so we headed there and waited for Sophia to arrive. Hehe. We were all so freakin hungry already, we missed lunch for about nearly 2 hours so our stomachs were grumbling. We just camwhored while waiting for the food. Hehe. My brother and Vanessa were both constantly teased. I think we were the loudest inside Max's and we were so totally noticeable in the shades of our clothing. Pink and Black. The trademark color of "Pinkies". Hehe. We agreed to spend the rest of the day at Gbox and there we experienced tremendous fun. I particularly laughed my heart out when we played Bump Cars. There were 8 cars, super exact for all of us! Hehe. I rode the #3 car. Haha. I didnt even know how to drive it, so the guy making bantay had to teach me. My stomach and back were so aching because I was laughing so hard and when I saw Marie, Aime and Lourdes trying to drive their own bump car, it made me laugh even more. Everything was so hilarious. We tried to kill each other and I almost flew out of my car when Aime bumped me from behind, she didnt mean to daw coz she wasnt in control. So was I. Marie naman kept twirling nonstop and she didnt know how to put a halt to it so she got all woozy daw and Lourdes, our very own "maria clara" was laughing even harder than Carlisle, who was stuck between me and the side of the mini-arena. Haha. We spent loads of cash on the tokens and we were able to collect more than 500 tickets and Carl and Kurtt made it palit with pens and stamps so we'd all have prizes to bring home. Lourdes, Aime and I went to stroll around Rob while the rest of the dudes continued wasting money at Gbox. Vanessa was still on her way back to Rob because she had to accompany Marie back to her house to get the things she left there. Haha. So, the three of us planned on asking Ralph to come to Rob with Louie and or Tophe. He was at sina Tophe, near Miguel's house I think (Vito Cruz).But it was all too late so Ralph and I had a convo over Des' cell and he told me that maybe we could just meet up next time... He didnt have anyone to come back with him to Tophe's house. So ayun, the sign Aime and Lourdes were waiting for lumabas rin kahit through Ralph's words lang... Hehe. Basta, its a complicated sign. Heehee. We left Rob at about past 6:30 and we headed to Vjay's house coz we left our stuff there. We walked noh! Super layo. I dont remember whose idea it was to walk but we all suffered severe foot cramps after! Hehe. My brother and I arrived at home about past 7 and my dad didnt exactly get mad he just kept asking the things we did while we were out.Whew. I was super tired when I got home. But I did play guitar hero for a short while before I slept. I had too much fun that day. Although I must say, I was saddened when I thought about how nothing special took place while I was at school with my boyfriend. I dont know. I gave him the gift during dismissal time... Haaay. But I should just listen to Marie's note on the card she gave me... "Forget about him first!" I mean, I can do that... but not totally. Haha. ---December 20, 2006--- Went to Tita Len's office with my mom. When we got home, Kuya Marvin was at the dining area talking to my sister. My tito and tita and my cousins arrived the other day lang so they brought our box here but I didnt make abot sina Kuya Paul and the twins(Anton and Mark) I wanted to see them pa naman. But atleast I was able to talk a little to Kuya Marvin. I was shocked coz he totally, completely looks different now. Hehe. But I'll get to see them rin naman on the 25th when we have our family/relatives celebration at Damar. Yey. Cant wait. And I finally got my corset bag! And Tita Alel and Tita Pecky sent me facial stuff and make-up! I love the bronzer tita Pecky bought for me. It is so nice! Hehe. Plus, got loads of chocolate too! Yum... --- December 21, 2006 --- Stayed inside the house the whole day and worked my fingers to score 5 stars on all the medium-difficulty songs. I'm almost done with all of it. My fingers are a bit 'ngalay' right now but I'm craving for more fret notes and stuff. The game is pretty addictive, if you ask me. I can play it the whole day without stopping... haha. Seriously. But my sister kept nagging awhile ago so I had no choice but to turn off the console and just walk around the house and eat chocolate. Sister came by this afternoon and brought us donuts, mamon and the Christmas ham... We gave her na the toy Tita Pecky sent Teza and the lizzie blanket, I think... Plus the chocolates... Hehe. I messaged my baby through mom's fone. You know, takas lang... Hehe. Im trying hard not to think about what Ralph told me... You know, the teachers know that we're a couple... Someone from my class told on us... So ayun, we're trying to keep things low... We can deny if we want to. Its not like they have total control of us. Especially me. We still have good friends who'll stand by the two of us if anything goes wrong. I just hope that mom wont find out because I'll end up stuck here at home and dad is surely going to make me stop studying. Oh mahn. So, there are loads of work to do. I'm going to start working on my assigned note cards this week and then research for our English paper... Plus, try to make up for the lacking part in our Physics IP. And the AP project about controversial news and stuff... I need to begin or I'll be doing last minute work like a day before the resume of classes. Sheesh. --- December 23, 2006 --- Rented a PC at PC 'r' us this afternoon. I went online for about less than an hour but more than 45 minutes. Its complicated. Anyway, opened my Ym and read lots of messages from Ralph. Supposedly, I dont think he has any idea why I havent gone online lately. I sent him a text message and it looks like he didnt recieve it. He went to tagaytay this morning (thats what he said) to attend mass... Prolly simbang gabi. Im not sure if he's home though. Hehe. Well, atleast Queen Paranoia's paranoia got lessened even just a little bit. Ha, Ha. I'm QUEEN PARANOIA. (carlisle called me that last time while at Gbox) So, I got ten articles for my AP project and all I need to do is rent again next time and fix it na, along with my stand and opinion. Ill just have it printed and work's done. For English, Ill borrow my sister's Psych books and paraphrase two ideas, get 2 direct quotations and summarize 2 paragraphs so I can complete 6 note cards... Im assigned with 5 only (I assigned myself) but just in case BJ doesnt get to work on any, we'll have less to worry about. Hopefully though, he'll come to his senses and realize that the leader (me) will kick him out of the group and let him morph into a vagabond. Ha, ha. I just kind of thought... Christmas this year wont be as merry as it was last year. Basically, some reasonsare just too prominent to ignore. Loneliness has much prominence if you ask me. And I just found out that nagi's got her right lung infected with something. I dont even want to think about what it could be. But I'im still hoping for the best. I dont need my life to totally get flushed. And ofcourse, there are reasons I'd like to keep to myself. I try to not include it but reality is, its a PART of my sorrow. Pfft. Anyway, I'm so wishing that I get my netline back. Im dying of complete idleness. Good thing, I still have my guitar hero as an alternative to internet-ing. Toodles. --- December 24, 3006 --- The sun is still brightly shining outside. Here I am in my room, trying to put myself and my thoughts together. I cannot live without writing. When the pain is completely agonizing, I resort to letting my emotions out through writing. Its my sanctuary... Well, tonight will be Christmas eve. Yey. Okay.. so in terms of being a materialistic person, Im not at all thrilled for tonight. But Im happy because despite the fact that I'm facing trouble as of the moment, I'm still giving myself the right to be optimistic. And the only thing Im probably looking forward to is the Christmas eve mass at Immaculate. I have to attend mass, no matter what. And I have to be in a solemn disposition. Its Jesus' birthday... I really want to talk to him... Tomorrow is a good day for me. Im not yet sure if we'll go to sina Mama tomorrow but like I said in last entry, I cant wait to see my cousins who flew from the States to spend Christmas here. Its been long years since we've actually seen each other. The last thing I remember was their despedida and we didnt even bid each other a goodbye. We didnt talk. Haha. I dont remember why... Or mayeb I do I'm just too lazy to share it with you... But I do remember the times we played at our house in Valle 1 and the times where reunions were at its peak and we'd scare each other to death. We were even teased when I accidentally hugged one of the twin cousins because the older people turned off the lights and we were both cowards so both us were left with each other. Ha, ha. Si Mark duwag! I used to beat him up alot back then. And I remember this specific event at sina Mama's house and we were sort of playing something nakakahilo and I intentionally twirled him ng malakas and it resulted to something quite bloody. He fell face front on the floor and his nose bled... and then Tita Alel was coming down the stairs and I threatened him that if he told on me I'd beat him up even more... so he shut his piehole while weeping silently. I was beside him though keeping watch. And I dont think he ever told anyone... not even his own twin brother Anton. Haha. Fun sadistic memories are hilarious. Id like to see his face when I recap all those totoy times we cousins' had. Ill be back later though... Just to give you a lowdown on the event for this evening. *Im Back* Went to ICAM to attend Christmas Eve mass. Wore my mint green top with a black nightie, black belt and denim jeans paired with black flats. I suddenly transformed into Guitar Hero Judy Nails! Ha, ha. Slept earlier than the usual. Got into a bad mood so I didnt wait for the clock to tick 12 coz I was pretty much pissed off. Wellm life is sort of magical and sometimes, I end up not caring at all about the magic in it. --- December 25, 2006 --- I love this day! Went to Damar during lunch time to celebrate with relatives. Its been a tradition for years... Even long before I was born... Probably. When we got there, only sina Tita Leng and Tita Grace were there with their families. We were really surprised that Tita Leng was there... with Tito Cholo and their kids Angela, Jeremy and Patricia. (gosh, first time to meet my cousins!) I can only say Angela is really pretty and she's prim and proper which is basically a good thing. She studies in a private school in the States. We were already beginning to eat when sina Tito Manny and family arrived! Haha. It was funny. I was excited to see the twins since it had been so long. Haha. Mark went to where I sat pa and pinched my right cheek with his pointer and ringman and he was like, "Oh, kilala mo pa ako?" with a huge grin on his face.. and I was like, "Oo naman! MARK!" then we were like laughing and stuff then Anton followed and he just gave Kurtt and I a tap on the arm. Gawd. I must admit that Anton looks really gwapo. He has grown up to be such a handsome young man. He's just a year older than me... Grabe, sobrang good-looking na talaga yung cousin ko na yun. Seriously. Hehe. So ayun, we did the usual stuff. Lots of small talk with titos and titas and Tita Grace was like telling me (forcefully) that I take up nursing and when Im tired of it, leave it na for modelling daw. Haha. She says Ive grown to be 'super ganda'... Naks. Flattered naman ako. Haha. My other cousins were playing with Anna's bartending thingy with the timer and everything. Grabe. Its been so long since their was liveliness at sina Mama's. Medyo mas madami na kami this Christmas than last year and since Tita Leng and Tito Manny's family decided to fly here to spend Christmas and New Year, they added up to the spirit of celebration. Kayla kuya paul, marvs and the twins palang, lively na! Hehe. Lots of my cousins, aunts and uncles sang coz Angela brought her magic sing. Hehe. Mark was actually forcing me to sing with him. I didnt though. I didnt want to. He sang and it was so funny, he was sort of out of tune! Buti pa si Anton, medyo nasa tono, he sang kasi Lost in Love. I got LSS nga with it awhile ago good thing I lost the rythm in my brain. haha. Tito Manny even took a pic of me, kurtt and Ate with sina Kuya Paul, Kuya Marvin, Anton and Mark. Grabe. Mark is like the same height lang with me. I think Im taller pa ata... Si Anton he's taller than me but Kurtt is taller than him. Haha. At first I was in between my brother and Mark coz we were teasing each other pa and then I had to move in the middle coz Tito Manny said nacocover daw... Haha. So I was in between Kuya Marvin and Anton... Haha. Waw. Si pogi (dear cousin Anton) pa katabi ko. Ang feeler ni Mark... *laughs* Kasi diba my parents and Tito Manny and Tita Lisa were saying that girls should be in the middle... Mark was like, "Babae ba 'yan??" referring to me! Ugh. So I hit his flabby stomach with my hand. Haha. He still remembers our bugbugan times! Hah! I told him and reminded him how iyakin he used to be! Hehehe. Basta. All I can say is, it was fun meeting them again after long years of being apart. Omg. Gwapo talaga ng twin cousins ko. We are one good-looking family... And we have such a gorgeous gene-pool.. From me to my cousins. Hehehe. Oh man. I miss them na tuloy! I hope we get to see them before they fly back to Seattle... Ill pray for it. Hehe. --- December 27, 2006 --- I went to Vjay's house with my bro to return the dress she lent me for our dance presentation, and I also had to borrow her maroon gown for my sister's purpose, as well as the silver cocktail dress. We arrived there at about past 2:00 PM since we didnt exactly leave that early and we left her house about past 3:00 PM, after which we headed to Rob to just look around. Gawd. Money is so easily spent. I dont think I have enough to buy a complete outfit, but surely, I'll get to buy this skinny jeans which are from Korea pa. I am so in love with skinny jeans. I love my legs. There's no better way to emphasize one's beautiful legs but with skinny jeans... asides from skirts, that is. Hehe. Hmmm... So what else happened today? Um, kuya Paul and kuy Marvin's flight is today, I just dont know if they already left. Tito Manny was here awhile ago but only for a short while. I thought he brought the twins with him. Haha. Anyway, I'm really grateful that Vjay's done with her AP outline... I borrowed her notebook and all I have to do is copy it. I'll prolly make little alterations... Damn. I hate it when I have to lose my books, it always affects the way I deal with schoolwork. But atleast, I can feel the spirit of being a good student increase... Haha. Hopefully... I'll have resolutions in mind before the 31st.. By then I should have thought about stuff... Hehe. And I just learned that the boys (including my hunny) will leave for Pampanga today up until tomorrow. Well, I gotta go right now... I'll be back tomorrow. --- December 28, 2006 --- Woke up super early today. I had to accompany my mom to Arroceros, Manila for the voter's ID form. PLM needs it kasi eh. Oh man. There were a gazillion bunch of people present. We got there pretty early but we left at about past 12, I think. It was frustrating. And I felt annoyance with how the COMELEC employees treated those in District 1. My mom and I lined up on the wrong district... They were so mean. It triggered something in me that made me realize how injustice and unfairness lie behind the facade of trying-hard-to-be-good-politicians. I mean, kukuha lang ng voter's ID yung mga tao, tapos papahirapan nila ng ganoon. I mean, the people line up hours and hours just to be able to get forms para makavote(makavote ng mga gahaman na offcials)... Tapos puro corruption lang naman and mayroon with the officials. The politicians should be thankful enough that there are people willing to sacrifice just to be able to write their names down and count as a vote. I swear... there is no system with the COMELEC. All I can say is, they're a bunch of idiots trying to fool poor people. They even violated human rights noh... After the pang-uuto na ginawa nila. Curse them. Btw, there was this cute guy there in a purple top and white cap. Grabe... he looks rich. Ang gwapo. Haha. But ofcourse, I just got physically attracted... Not anything other than that. My mom and I headed to SM right after to get drinks and food. We were so exhausted after long hours of waiting. Grabe talaga. Then ayun inaya ko si mom sa 168... I wanted to go shopping for Korean shirts... Ang fashionable kasi eh... Mura pa. I got this vintage top na bagay sa skinny jeans with the long hemline and all... Gorgeous. haha. You know... Shopping didnt make me forget about my baby... He's always in my head... I miss him too much to make clothes a reason to not think of him... I wonder, is he all right?? --- December 30, 2006 --- I just arrived from the PC rental. I dont even know what Im feeling right now. Im confused if Im supposed to be happy or sad. Maybe chatting with him eased the loneliness in me and at the same time made me miss him even more. I felt like I was sharing the same emotion with him awhile ago. We weren't very sentimental awhile ago nor were we all cheesy. It kind of felt strangely awkward while we were messaging each other... Oh well. Mike is one of my prospect lucky charms. I dont know ah. But when he IMed me kanina, after just a few seconds Ralph went online. Okay, so I sent him an SMS coz he was on mobile but still... Mike has to be my lucky charm. And besides, I remember when he told me stuff about what Ralph is truly feeling deep inside... All of it were true... Oh man, I have a psychic friend. Anwyay, I miss my hunny even more. It was so difficult for me to say goodbye to him. And it struck my heart ever so badly when he told me that he has everything except for ME. That made me guilty for telling him that he has a phone, a net connection, etc.. without even thinking that he didnt need those earthly objects.. what he needed was a girlfriend to make him feel better. And he hasnt been out the house for quite sometime except yesterday when they celebrated Tophe's birthday. I didnt want to go on an argument with him kanina even if I was darn tempted to. I didnt want to spoil the moment... A moment given to me unsuspectingly... And a moment I needed to make me come to my senses and put these senses in perspective. Tomorrow evening will be New Year's Eve and 2007 will be our year. March is nearing. Ive only got so little time to show the one special person how much he matters to me. Itll be even worse on summer... We'll be months away from each other and Im scared... Scared that in those months he'll find someone new and forget all about me. And maybe Im also scared of the fact that i might get tired of hoping and waiting and ditch the whole boyfriend-picture. I love him but I know our relationship hasnt gotten into the deepest. But im willing to wait and hope (dreadful things) just to prove that my emotion is sincere and genuine. I love my hunny and I cant wait to see him on the 3rd of Jan 2007. Its a good way to start school on our monthsary... See. A new begginning for the both of us. --- December 31, 2006 --- This is the last day of year 2006! I have to atleast make a journal entry on the last day of such an oddly-blend of happy/sad year! I started the day by going to mass at St. Joseph and when my mom and I got back, we ate our breakfast with my two younger brothers and my dad then I decided to come along with them sa grocery shopping. Tonight will be New Year's Eve... Its a special night. And even if we're not exactly going anywhere, we'll all be dressed up to start the year right. Hehe. We have so much prepared food... And I cant wait for dessert! Its the part of the meal I cant resist. Heehee. We're having buko pandan and sago with black gulaman and for the main course, Im not yet sure what my parents have in store. Ill just wait and see later on... We're not going to attend the New Year's Eve Mass tonight because itll be extremely dangerous to drive outside... So we'll prolly attend mass tomorrow. I can hear fireworks outside. I heard they were illegal na?? You know... The deadly-dangerous ones? Actually, we were planning to spend New Year's Eve at Baywalk so we can feast our eyes on the fireworks display they have in store for the people... But then we were worried about the little kiddos coz they might not be in the mood to have a stroll or eat late-night dinner outside. So we all agreed to just stay and celebrate at home! I just remembered! Its already a Sunday, only 3 more days to go before classes resume. And I havent done my AP project yet. I need newspapers and I asked my mom to buy me old issues somewhere... I need 10 big issues of 2006 with my stand and all... Oh my gosh. But I have less to worry about in English coz I sent Ms. Isip Chapter 1 of our research. And I only need one more note card... But if I want to have extra note cards for my group's sake, I must hog my sister's laptop and search for something... Atleast something to relate with conduct disorder and student violations... Haha. Man, its hard to rush into things. And I dont seem worried you see, Ive been playing the SIMS since lunchtime... I just had to waste time on senseless addictions. I dont regret it though, I enjoyed! Thats what matters! After all.. I never know when I might die... Speaking of other things, I cant wait to see Ralph and talk to him on the 3rd of Jan! Its our 3rd month! Wow. We've been pretty strong... I hope we get stronger. I love him... Super. Obvious ba, even if he broke my heart ever so harshly, all he needed to do was explain to me and voila! my heart got soft on him na... and we got together as a couple... And will you believe that Ms. Maarte-na-ayaw-sa-cheesy-lines became more than just mushy and cheesy! Oh dehbah? Love is pure magic. I miss my hunn... Love you hunn. Tonight is a night to enjoy! Wish me a good upcoming year... I dont believe in the fire pig's wrath. Coz you know, I believe in the LORD. | 
